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One day Beethoven, on a temporary leave of his senses, was visiting
the New York Zoo, and pulling a bass violin out of its case, tucks it
under his massive chin, rosins up the bow, and begins playing the Ninth
Symphony. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo
keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper, using
the American Sign Language for the Deaf, explains to Beethoven that
the Zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and
the keeper fears that attendance at the Zoo will fall off. He offers
Beethoven a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get a new one.
Ludwig thought this a wonderful idea and accepted. So the next morning
he puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes.
He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and
make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as famous
composer. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just
swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more
attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the
attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across
a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this
makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day
the Zookeeper comes and gives Ludwig a raise for being such a good
attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, Beethoven keeps taunting
the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one
terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls.
Beethoven is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.
Ludwig is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with
the lion close behind. Finally, Beethoven starts screaming and yelling,
"Help! Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. Beethoven soon finds
himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,
"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
And Beethoven says, "Huh? I can't hear you!”
One day Beethoven, on a temporary leave of his senses, was visiting the
New York Zoo, and pulling a bass violin out of its case, tucks it under
his massive chin, rosins up the bow, and begins playing the Ninth Symphony.
Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs
him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper, using the American
Sign Language for the Deaf, explains to Beethoven that the Zoo's most
popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears
that attendance at the Zoo will fall off. He offers Beethoven a job to
dress up as the gorilla until they can get a new one. Ludwig thought
this a wonderful idea and accepted. So the next morning he puts on the
gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers
that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of
people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as famous composer.
However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging
on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention
to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention
of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition,
and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the
lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the Zookeeper
comes and gives Ludwig a raise for being such a good attraction. Well,
this goes on for some time, Beethoven keeps taunting the lion, the crowds
grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he
is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. Beethoven is terrified.
The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. Ludwig is so scared that
he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.
Finally, Beethoven starts screaming and yelling, "Help! Help me!", but
the lion is quick and pounces. Beethoven soon finds himself flat on his
back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot!
Do you want to get us both fired?"
And Beethoven says, "Huh? I can't hear you!”
One day Beethoven, on a temporary leave of his senses, was visiting the
New York Zoo, and pulling a bass violin out of its case, tucks it under
his massive chin, rosins up the bow, and begins playing the Ninth Symphony.
Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs
him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper, using the American Sign
Language for the Deaf, explains to Beethoven that the Zoo's most popular
attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance
at the Zoo will fall off. He offers Beethoven a job to dress up as the
gorilla until they can get a new one. Ludwig thought this a wonderful idea
and accepted. So the next morning he puts on the gorilla suit and enters
the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can
sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds
than he ever did as famous composer. However, eventually the crowds tire of
him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the
people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.
Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of
his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's
cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At
the end of the day the Zookeeper comes and gives Ludwig a raise for being
such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, Beethoven keeps
taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up.
Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips
and falls. Beethoven is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to
pounce. Ludwig is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage
with the lion close behind. Finally, Beethoven starts screaming and yelling,
"Help! Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. Beethoven soon finds
himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,
"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
And Beethoven says, "Huh? I can't hear you!”



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Buffy was taking the tour of a national park
not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the
tour group that dinosaur fossils had been
found in the area. Buffy exclaimed,
"Wow - I can't believe the dinosaurs would
come this close to the highway!"


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A blonde and her friend are walking through the park.
Suddenly, the blonde's friend says: "Oh, look, a dead birdie".
The blonde looks up and asks "Where?"


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A Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink, he starts drinking his
beer and notices a gorilla sitting at the end of the bar. He then
asks the bartender "What is that gorilla doing sitting down there?"
The bartender says, "He does tricks." The gay then says, "Ya right!"
The bartender asks, "Do you want to see one?" The guy replies, "Yes."
The bartender grabs a baseball bat from behind the bar and walks down
to the end of the bar and whacks the gorilla up side the head! The
gorilla then gets down off the bar stool and gives the bartender a
blow job. The bartender walks back to the guy, the guy is laughing
hysterically. The bartender says, "Pretty cool huh?" The guy says,
"Ya" The bartender asks, "Do you want to try it?" The guy says, "Ya
but don't hit me over the head as hard as the gorilla!"



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