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So this guy walks in to a bar with his dog
he puts the dog on the bar and says to the
bartender this is the smartest dog in the
world I bet you five dollars that you can
ask him any thing and he will tell you the
right answer so he said all right what is
10+11+13 the dog said 34 wow he did get
it so hand over the 5 dollar bill and then
the guy said don't let my dog go anywhere
I have to use the bathroom so he hands the
dog the 5 dollars to hold on to.While the
guy was in the bathroom the bartender and
the dog were having a conversation with
each other so the bartender says if your so
smart go down the road and get me a newspaper
So the dog goes out.When the guy comes he can't
see his dog so he asks the bartender where the
dog was the bartender answered that the dod went
to get him a newspaper the guy throws a fit
and goes out to find his dog he looked all over
until he find his dog in an alley fucking a poodle
so he asks his dog: what are you doing you have
never done this before.
So the dog says: I have never had 5 dollars
before either.


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A man walks into a bar with a metal box under one arm and a duck under
the other. He then says to the bartender: "If you give me a free bottle
of beer I'll show you my dancing duck".
The barman is surprised, but gives the guy a beer and asks the bloke to
show him the duck dancing.
So the guy puts the metal box on the bar, and the duck on top of it.
A few seconds later the duck starts to jump around, as if he's doing an
Irish jig. Everyone in the bar is now watching this duck dancing, and the
barman offers the guy £50 for the duck and the box. The bloke accepts,
and the pub is filled day and night for 3 days with people watching the
amazing dancing duck. So 3 days after he sold the barman the duck, the guy
walks back in to the pub and sees his duck dancing on the box on top of
the bar. The barman sees the guy and offers him a drink on the house.
As he gives the guy the drink, the barman asks, "Could you tell me how you
stop the duck from dancing on top of the box?"
The man replies: "Oh that's easy, you just take the hot coals out."



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A penguin walks into a bar.
He goes to the counter and asks the barman,
"Have you seen my brother?"
The barman asks: "What does he look like?"




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Two flies walk into a bar and order drinks and start talking.
The first fly says how was your travel down here?
The second fly answers "it was cold I rode in a
bikers mustache. How was yours?
The first fly answers I was warm I rode in a biker chicks' pussy.
You ought to do it next year.
So a year passes and the same two flies met in the same bar,
and the first fly says did you do it? And the second
fly answers yes but some how I still showed up in a biker's mustache.




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