A hippopotamus walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "That will be $7.50 please" says the bartender. So the hippo gives the bartender his money and starts to sip his beer. "You know we don't very many hippos in here" mutters the bartender. The hippo replies, "At these prices it's no wonder!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 16 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. So this guy walks in to a bar with his dog he puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender this is the smartest dog in the world I bet you five dollars that you can ask him any thing and he will tell you the right answer so he said all right what is 10+11+13 the dog said 34 wow he did get it so hand over the 5 dollar bill and then the guy said don't let my dog go anywhere I have to use the bathroom so he hands the dog the 5 dollars to hold on to.While the guy was in the bathroom the bartender and the dog were having a conversation with each other so the bartender says if your so smart go down the road and get me a newspaper So the dog goes out.When the guy comes he can't see his dog so he asks the bartender where the dog was the bartender answered that the dod went to get him a newspaper the guy throws a fit and goes out to find his dog he looked all over until he find his dog in an alley fucking a poodle so he asks his dog: what are you doing you have never done this before. So the dog says: I have never had 5 dollars before either. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 22 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man walks into a bar with a metal box under one arm and a duck under the other. He then says to the bartender: "If you give me a free bottle of beer I'll show you my dancing duck". The barman is surprised, but gives the guy a beer and asks the bloke to show him the duck dancing. So the guy puts the metal box on the bar, and the duck on top of it. A few seconds later the duck starts to jump around, as if he's doing an Irish jig. Everyone in the bar is now watching this duck dancing, and the barman offers the guy £50 for the duck and the box. The bloke accepts, and the pub is filled day and night for 3 days with people watching the amazing dancing duck. So 3 days after he sold the barman the duck, the guy walks back in to the pub and sees his duck dancing on the box on top of the bar. The barman sees the guy and offers him a drink on the house. As he gives the guy the drink, the barman asks, "Could you tell me how you stop the duck from dancing on top of the box?" The man replies: "Oh that's easy, you just take the hot coals out." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 21 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A penguin walks into a bar. He goes to the counter and asks the barman, "Have you seen my brother?" The barman asks: "What does he look like?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 277 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.