Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 50 pounds!! Q:What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? A:About 50 minutes!! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 52 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. John worked in a pickle factory. One day he came home to confess to his wife that he had a irresistible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should get a proffesional help, but John indicated that he'd be too embarrassed and promised to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, John came home absolutely pale. "What's wrong, John?" asked the wife. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" he asked. "Oh, John, you didn't," she said. "Yes, I did," he told her. "My God, John, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, John. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" she asked. "Oh... she got fired too." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 103 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Bill went to church with his wife but always fell asleep during the sermony. The wife decided to do something about this. One Sunday, she took a long hatpin with her to poke him with every time he fell asleep. The preacher shouted out, "And who created all there is in six days and rested on the seventh," she poked Bill, who came flying out of the pew and screamed, "Good God almighty!" The minister said, "That's right, that's right," and went on with his sermony. Bill fell asleep again. the preacher shouted out, "And who died on the cross to save us from our sins," the wife poked him again, and he jumped up and shouted, "Jesus Christ!". The minister said, "That's right, that's right," and went on with his sermony. Bill sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to, "And what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second child?" The wife started to poke Bill again, but he jumped up and said, "If you stick that damn thing in me again, I'll break it off!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 639 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Bill and his wife were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers. So Bill says to his wife "Your ass is almost as wide as this grill", She ignores him. A while later, Bill takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her ass and murmur, "Geez, it really is as wide as the grill!" She ignores this remark as well. Later that night while in bed, Bill starts to feel randy. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one tiny wiener, you are sadly mistaken." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 28 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.