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It was this little girl's first day of school,
and the teacher asked her what her name was.
She replied, "Happy Butt."
The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's
your name. You need to go to the principal's
office and get this straightened out."
So she went to the principal's office and he
asked, "What's your name?"
And the little girl said, "Happy Butt."
The principal called the girl's mother to get
this straightened out once and for all.
After getting off the phone, he looked at the
little girl and said, "Honey, your name is
Gladys, not Happy Butt."
The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt,
what's the difference?"


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There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby.
One day, the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked.
He asked his mother what the hair between her legs was.
She responded, "It's my wash cloth."
Weeks later, after the mother had her baby, the young boy
walked in on his mother again. While she was in the hospital,
the doctor had shaved her pubic hair.
The boy asked, "What happened to your wash cloth?"
The mother responded, "I lost it."
The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his
mother's washcloth. A few days later, he ran to his mother
yelling and screaming, "I found your washcloth."
The mother, thinking that the child was just playing, went
along with the boy and asked, "Where did you find it?"
The boy answered, "The maid has it! She is washing daddy's
face with it."


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Two blokes are having a beer, talking about various sex positions.
The first bloke says that his favorite position is the "rodeo."
The other bloke asks what the position is and how to do it.
The first replies, "Well, get your wife on all fours and do it
doggy style. Once things get underway and she's really enjoying it,
lean forward and whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position
as well.' Then try and hang on for 8 seconds."


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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped
his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground, and proceeded
to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and
know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few
minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal
position, still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But
she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently
took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his
pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him.
She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts
like hell."


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