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A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an
after-work cocktail when an exceptionally
gorgeous and sexy young woman entered.
She was so striking that the man could
not take his eyes away from her.
The young woman noticed his overly-attentive
stare, and walked directly toward him.
Before he could offer his apologies for
being so rude, the young woman said to
him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything,
that you want me to do, no matter how
kinky, for $20 on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the
condition was.
The young woman replied, "You have to
tell me what you want me to do in just
three words. The man considered her
proposition for a moment, withdrew his
wallet from his pocket, and slowly
counted out four $5 bills, which he
pressed into the young woman's hand.
He looked deeply into her eyes, and
slowly, meaningfully said: "Paint my house."


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Q: why are 70 year olds always so tired?
A: because its right after 69.


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Q: does Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
A: you can read her lips.


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One day a co-worker told Stan, that she was
going home early because she didn't feel well.
Since Stan was just getting over something
himself, he wished her well and said he hoped
it wasn't something he had given her. A fellow
worker piped up, "I sure hope not. She has
morning sickness."


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