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Dan took his blind date to the carnival.
"What would you like to do first, Anna?"
asked Dan.
"I want to get weighed," replied Anna.
They ambled over to the weight guesser.
He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the
scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel.
When the ride was over, Dan again asked
Anna what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went.
Since they had been there before, he
guessed her correct weight, and Dan lost
his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and
again he asked where to next. "I want to
get weighed," Anna responded.
By this time, Dan figured that she was really
weird and took her home early, dropping her
off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind
date, "How did it go?"
Anna responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."


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A 51-year-old man decided to have a face lift
for his birthday. He really likes it. He was
heading toward McDonalds when he stopped and
asked a man, "excuse me for asking, but, what
age do I look like?"
The man says, "To me, you look 35."
The guy says, "Really? I'm actually 51!" and
walks to on. Once he gets to McDonalds, he
asks the orderer the same question. The orderer
says, "To me, you look 29."
The guy says, "Really? I'm actually 51!" and
then leaves. At the bus stop, he asks an old
lady the same question.
She says, "I'm 87, my eye sight isn't that well.
Although, I can tell your age by having my hand
down your pants for 10 minutes."
The guy sees no one around and says what the hell
and lets her.
After ten minutes, she takes her hand out and says,
"Alright, you're 51."
The guy is surprised and says, "WOW! How did you know?"
The old woman says, "I was standing behind you
at McDonalds."


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Q: What is the similarity with a girl and a ship?
A: The ship cuts through the water and the girl
waters through the cut.


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Q: why do blondes like bubble gums?
A: only 5 cents a blow...


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