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Two parents take their son on a vacation
to a nude beach. The father goes for a
walk on the beach, and the son goes and
plays in the water. The son comes running
up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw
ladies with breasts a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the
dumber they are." So he goes back to play.
Minutes later, he runs back and says,
"Mommy, I saw men with penises a lot bigger
than Daddy's!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the
dumber they are." So he goes back to play.
Several minutes later, he comes running
back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy
talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw,
and the more they talked, the dumber he got!"


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Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so
they have to go into court on a Friday.
They go to court and the judge says,
"If you can convince more than 5 people
to stop doing drugs for the rest of their
lives, you won't be sent to jail."
So the two men agree and the judge tells
them to come back on Monday. So the two
guys come back on Monday and the judge
asks how they did.
"I got 17 people to get off drugs," says
the first guy.
"Wow, how'd you do that?" asks the judge.
"I used circles. I told them that this large
circle is your brain before drugs and this
small circle is your brain after drugs."
"Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy.
"I convinced 156 people to get off drugs."
"Wow. How'd you do that?" asked the judge.
"Well, I used circles too. I told them this
small circle is your butthole before prison."


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Yo' mama so nasty, I asked what was
for dinner and she spread her legs
and said "Crabs!"


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A man goes to his doctor and says,
"Doctor, Doctor, please help me!
I've got a problem."
The doctor examines the man and
finds the man has a red ring around
his penis. The doctor gives him an
ointment to rub on the problem area.
"It's all cleared up!" the man
reports when he returns. "But what
was that medication you gave me?"
"Lipstick remover."


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