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This little boy goes up to his
dad and he says "Dad?, What's
the difference between Potentially
and Realistically?"
To which the father replies "Well
son, go ask your mother if she
would sleep with Robert Redford
for a million dollars. Then you
ask your sister if she would sleep
with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then you ask your brother if he
would sleep with Tom Cruise for
a million dollars." So the boy
goes up to his mom and asks her
if she would sleep with Robert
Redford for a million dollars and
the mother replies "Oh my god,
of course I would, he is so good
looking!" So the boy moves on
and asks his sister if she would
sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars, and she replies "He is
so fucking fine, of course I
would!" Then last but no least
he goes up to his brother and
asks him if he would sleep with
Tom Cruise for a million dollars,
his brother says "Of course I
would, who wouldn't for a million
bucks?" So he goes up to his dad
and says "I think I learned the
difference between potentially
and realistically" "Well what's
the difference?" says the father.
"Well, potentially we're sitting
on 3 million dollars, realistically
we're living with 2 sluts and a fag!"


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A guy met this girl in a bar and
asked,"May I buy you a drink?".
Looking back unimpressed at the
man, she replies, "Okay, but it
won't do you any good."
A little later, he asks, "May I
buy you another drink?"
"Okay, but it still won't do you
any good."
He invites her up to his apartment
and she replies, "Okay, but it
won't do you any good."
They get to his apartment and
he says, "You are the most
beautiful thing I have ever seen.
I want you for my wife."
She says, "Oh, that's different.
Send her in."


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Researcher: "Excuse me madam,
I'm conducting a survey."
Woman: "Yes, what is it about?"
Researcher: "We are asking
people what they think about
sex on the television."
Woman: "Very uncomfortable,
I would imagine!"


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A young, attractive woman thought
she might have some fun with a
stiff-looking military man at a
cocktail party, so she walked over
and asked him, "Major, when was
the last time you had sex?"
"1956," was his reply.
"No wonder you look so uptight!"
she exclaimed. "Major, you need
to get out more!"
"I'm not sure I understand you,"
he answered, glancing at his watch,
"It's only 2014 now."


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