A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers. "Hi, is Tony home?" "No, Chris, he went to the store." "Well, do you mind if I wait?" "No, come on in." They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I've ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Sara thinks about this for a second and figures, what the hell, a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows him one. He thanks her and promptly throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "They are just so beautiful! I've got to see them both. I'll give you another hundred if I could just see them both together." Sara say what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another hundred bucks on the table and says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, " You know, your weird friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for a second and says, "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 59 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again--the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation. This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs--she's coming downstairs, he's heading up. "Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide." "I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 29 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Mrs. St. James was almost in tears. "Oh Trudy," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." "I don't believe it for one minute." Trudy snapped. "You're just saying that to make me jealous." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 282 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls over tonight. I've never had three girls at once. I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent." The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours." The guy says, "Gimme three boxes." The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy. limps up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and skin is hanging off in some places. The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat." The pharmacist replies in horror, "You can't put Deep Heat on that!" The man says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 81 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.