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A guy sticks his head in the barber
shop and asks, "How long before I
can get a haircut?" The barber looks
around the shop and says, "About
two hours." The guy leaves. A few
days later, the same guy sticks his
head in the door and asks, "How long
before I get a haircut?" The barber
looks around the shop full of customers
and says, "About two hours." The guy
leaves. A week later, the same guy
sticks his head in the shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop an says,
"About an hour and half." The guy leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in
the shop and says, "Hey Bill, follow
that guy and see where he goes."
In a little while, Bill comes back
into the shop laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Bill, where did he
go when he left here?" Bill looked up
and said, "To your house."


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Walking up to a department store's
fabric counter, the pretty girl said,
"I would like to buy this material
for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied
the male clerk with a smirk.
"That's fine," said the girl.
"I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation
written all over his face, the clerk
quickly measured out the cloth,
wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package,
pointed to the old geezer standing
beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa
will pay the bill."


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During their silver anniversary,
a wife reminded her husband:
"Do you remember when you proposed
to me, I was so overwhelmed that
I didn't talk for an hour?"
The hubby replied: "Yes, honey,
that was the happiest hour of my life."


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Mr.Johnson and his secretary are on a train
to Paris. They are just about to go to sleep
when the secretary, who has the hots for her
boss says in a seductive voice, "I'm a little
cold, could I borrow your blanket?"
The man says "how would you like to be Mrs.
Johnson for awhile?"
The secretary jumps at the chance and begins
to get out of bed. Then he replies, "good,
then you can get your own damn blanket."


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