A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop an says, "About an hour and half." The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looked up and said, "To your house." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 99 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out. The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 100 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 24 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Mr.Johnson and his secretary are on a train to Paris. They are just about to go to sleep when the secretary, who has the hots for her boss says in a seductive voice, "I'm a little cold, could I borrow your blanket?" The man says "how would you like to be Mrs. Johnson for awhile?" The secretary jumps at the chance and begins to get out of bed. Then he replies, "good, then you can get your own damn blanket." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 30 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.