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A little girl is in line to see Santa.
When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap.
Santa asks: "What would you like Santa to bring
you for Christmas?"
The little girl replies: "I want a Barbie and a
G.I. Joe."
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says:

"I thought Barbie comes with Ken."
"No," said the little girl.
"She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with
Ken."



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A male whale and a female whale were swimming
off the coast of Japan when they noticed a
whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as
the same ship that had harpooned his father many
years earlier. He said to the female whale,
"Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of
our air holes at the same time and it should
cause the ship to turn over and sink. They
tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over
and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales
realized the sailors had jumped overboard and
were swimming to the safety of shore. The male
was enraged that they were going to get away
and told the female, "Lets swim after them and
gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming
reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said,
"I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely
refuse to swallow the seamen."


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The manager hired a new secretary. She was young,
and very polite. One day while taking dictation,
she noticed his fly was open, so she courteously
said, "Oh sir, did you know that your barracks
door was open." He did not understand her remark,
but later on saw that his zipper was open. He
decided to have some fun with his new employee.
Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones,
when you saw my barracks door open this morning,
did you also see a soldier standing at attention."
The secretary, who was quite witty, replied,
"Why, no sir, all I saw was a little disabled
veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!"



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A man walks into a hotel bar and bumps
into a very attractive woman. "Sorry,
he says to her If your heart is as soft as
your breast I know you will forgive me!"
The woman replies,
"If your penis is as hard as your elbow my
room is 211."



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