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A man with a stuttering problem goes
to a world-renowned doctor for help.
The doctor examines him and says:
"I've found your problem. Your penis
is 12 inches long. It weighs so much
it is pulling on your lungs, causing
you to stutter."
So the man asks, "What's he cure, doctor?"
"We have to cut off 6 inches."
The man thinks about it, and eager to
cure his stuttering, agrees to the operation.
The operation is a success, and he stops
stuttering. Two months later he calls
the doctor and tells him that since he
had the operation, all of his girlfriends
have dumped him. He wants the doctor
to operate to put back the six inches.
Not hearing anything on the line,
he repeats himself, "Hey doc, didn't
you hear me? I want my 6 inches back!"
Finally, the doctor responds, "F-f-f-f-f-f-uck Y-y-you!”



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A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening.
The woman gave their butler, Peter, the night off.
She said they would return home very late, and she
hoped he would enjoy his evening. Not having good
time at the party the wife came home early, alone.
As the woman walked into her house, she found Peter
by himself in the dining room. She called him to
follow her, and led him into the master bedroom.
She turned to him and said, in the voice she knew
he must obey,
"Peter, I want you to take off my dress."
This he did, hanging it carefully over a chair.
"Peter," she continued, "now take off my stockings
and garter belt."
Again, Peter silently obeyed.
"Now, Peter, I want you to remove my bra and panties."
Eyes downcast, Peter obeyed. Both were breathing
heavily, the tension mounting between them. She
looked sternly at him and said, "Peter, if I ever
catch you wearing my stuff again, you're fired!"



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Three men came to Saudi Arabia. One day,
they saw a harem filled with over 100 women.
They got friendly with all the women, when
suddenly the Sheik came in.
"I am the master of all these women. No one
else can touch them except me. You must pay
for what you have done today. Your punishment
will correspond your profession."
The sheik turns to the first man and asks :
“What do you do for living?”
"I'm a cop", says the first man.
"Then we will shoot your penis off!" said the sheik.
He then turned to the second man and asked him
what he did for a living.
"I'm a firemen", said the second man.
"Then we will burn your penis off!" said the sheik.
Finally, he asked the last man,
"And you, what do you do for a living?"
With a sly grin, third man answered,
"I'm a lollipop salesman!"



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Two married buddies are out drinking one
night when one turns to the other and says,
"You know, I don't know what else to do.
Whenever I go home after we've been out
drinking, I turn the headlights off before
I get to the driveway.
I shut off the engine and coast into the
garage. I take my shoes off before I go
into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I
get undressed in the bathroom.
I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes
up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well,
you're obviously taking the wrong approach.
I screech into the driveway, slam the door,
storm up the steps,
throw my shoes into the closet, jump into
bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say,
"How about a blowjob?" ...and she's always
sound asleep."


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