So this guy walks in to a bar with his dog he puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender this is the smartest dog in the world I bet you five dollars that you can ask him any thing and he will tell you the right answer so he said all right what is 10+11+13 the dog said 34 wow he did get it so hand over the 5 dollar bill and then the guy said don't let my dog go anywhere I have to use the bathroom so he hands the dog the 5 dollars to hold on to.While the guy was in the bathroom the bartender and the dog were having a conversation with each other so the bartender says if your so smart go down the road and get me a newspaper So the dog goes out.When the guy comes he can't see his dog so he asks the bartender where the dog was the bartender answered that the dod went to get him a newspaper the guy throws a fit and goes out to find his dog he looked all over until he find his dog in an alley fucking a poodle so he asks his dog: what are you doing you have never done this before. So the dog says: I have never had 5 dollars before either. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 22 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. After a bit of Christmas shopping three little old ladies, shivering from the cold, decided to get a drink at a local bar. After the second round of hot toddies, the first little old lady said to the others "Have any of you decided what to give the doorman for Christmas?" The first little old lady said, "I think I'll give him some money... I think he could use the money." The second little old lady said, "Perhaps, but I've seen him at this bar several times, already…I think I'll give him a bottle." The two of them turn to the third little old lady, who was quietly sipping her drink and asked, "...and what are YOU giving the doorman for Christmas?" "I," said the woman with a smile, "am giving the doorman SEX." What the two exclaimed, "You're giving the doorman sex! And what does your husband think about that?" "In fact," she replied, "my husband told me I should give the doorman sex. Why just last night I asked my husband 'What are we giving the doorman for Christmas?' and he said to me, 'The doorman, FUCK THE DOORMAN!' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 23 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. 3 guys walk into a bar. A woman stops them and tells them they can come in only if their dick lengths add up to a foot. The first guy gets out his dick and its 5 inches long, the second guy gets his out and its 5 inches long, the third guy gets his out and its 1 inch long so they are let in. The first guy says, "Thank god my dicks so long". The second guy says, "Thank god my dicks so long". So the third guy says, "Thank god I had a stiffy". Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 64 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A lady walks into a lesbian bar and order's a bloody mary. A blonde walks over to her and says, "Where do you know me from"? Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 122 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.