Mark is sitting at the bar totally forlorn and drinking up a storm. His friend Ray approaches him and asks what's wrong. Mark says, "Everything is terrible. I've been replaced at work with a computer, and I've been replaced at home with a vibrator!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 44 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. It was afternoon in the crowded cafeteria. The elderly matron sitting at the counter was obviously upset at the cigarette smoke of the young woman beside her. Finally the older woman could take it no longer. She turned to the girl and bellowed with a loud voice "Young lady, I would rather commit adultery than smoke!" "So would I," quipped the girl, "but you know, there just isn't time enough during a coffee break." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 19 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Three friends decided to visit a prostitute : a whit e guy, a black guy, and a Jew. It was a slow night, So she gave the guys a deal. "You can pay $10 an inch." When the white man comes back out his friends ask: "How much did she charge you?" "$65 dollars," said the first. The black guy goes in and returns with a fee of $95. The first two were proud of their prowess. The third man goes in and returns, "How much did she charge you?" ask the first two : "20 dollars", replies the Jew. The first two start laughing hysterically. "Hey guys," replied the third, "I'm not so stupid, I paid on the way out." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 45 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated. When they ran into each other later the first old lady said. "My! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?" The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My Gosh the penis on it was so large!" The first old lady blurted out , "And cold, too." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 5 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.