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A bus load of politicians were driving down a
country road when all of a sudden the bus ran
off the road and crashed into a tree in an old
farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old
farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded
to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few
days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the
crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were
they all dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said
they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."


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George W. Bush, in an airport lobby,
noticed a man in a long flowing white
robe with a long flowing white beard
and flowing white hair. The man had
a staff in one hand and some stone
tablets under the other arm. George
W. approached the man and inquired,
"Aren't you Moses?"
The man ignored George W. and stared
at the ceiling. George W. positioned
himself more directly in the man's view
and asked again, "Aren't you Moses?"
The man continued to peruse the ceiling.
George W. tugged at the man's sleeve
and asked once again, "Aren't you Moses?"
The man finally responded in an irritated
voice, "Yes I am".
George W. asked him why he was so uppity
and the man replied, "The last time a
bush spoke to me I ended up spending
forty years in the wilderness".


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God calls Boris Yeltsin, George W Bush
and Bill Gates into his office and says,
"The world will end in 30 days. Go back
and tell your people."
So, Boris Yeltsin goes to the Russian
people and says, "I have bad news and I
have worse news. The bad news is that
we were wrong, there is a God. The worse
news is that the world will end in 30 days."
George Bush goes on TV and tells the
American people, "I have good news and
I have bad news. The good news is that
the basic family values upon which we
have based our lives on are right -
there is a God. The bad news is that
the world will end in 30 days."
Bill Gates goes to his executive committee
and says, "I have great news and I have
fabulous news. The great news is that
God thinks I'm important. The fabulous
news is that we don't have to ship
Windows 95!"


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Q: What does a coke machine and
Monica Lewinski have in common?
A: They both say "Insert Bill here."


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