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Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches
into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks
into the mirror. "This picture looks like someone
I know" she says. The other one has a look and says,
"Of course dummy, it's ME..."


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A blonde is over at this Coke Machine
putting fifty cents in, taking the coke,
putting it in her pockets, throwing the
quarters in, taking the coke, putting it
in her pockets, throwing the quarters in,
taking the Coke, putting it in her pockets.
After a while she has a Coke in every pocket.
She keeps going, stacking the Cokes around
her on the floor.
Finally, the guy behind her, getting mad,
asks her, "What Are You Doing?!
She responds, "Duh, I'm winning."


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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by
climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket
for them to jump in.
The firemen yell to the Brunette:
"Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"
The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away.
The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
" Jump! You have jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.
"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!"
"OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps.
SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened
on the pavement like a pancake.
Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof.
Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says.
"Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull
the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down,
and back away from it..."


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A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the California
Biggest Breast Competition. The redhead won and the brunette came in
second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant.
Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as
everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced
the young girl as she came. After all of the excitement died down, she
leaned over to the judge and whispered,
"I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms."


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