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A three year old boy was examining his testicles while
taking a bath.

"Mama," he asked, "Are these my brain?"

"Not yet, son", his mother replied.


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Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German,
an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some
Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do
you want on your back for your whipping?"

The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on
his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he
is finished the German has these huge welts on his back,
and he can hardly move.

The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican,
"What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands
there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single
flinch.

"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American.
He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."



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Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So,
one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped
him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick
was a drunken loser."

"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."

Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies.
"I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn't care."
The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to
set him off...watch and learn."
So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman,
tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I hear your
St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!"

"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."

Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his
buddies. "You're right. He's unshakable!"

The third Englishman remarked, "Boys, I'll really tick him
off... just watch." So the third Englishman walked over to
the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said,
"I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"

"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."


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When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States,
made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets
left for sale. Touched by his disappointment, a friendly
ticket salesman found him a perch near the American flag.
Later, Jose wrote home enthusiastically about his experience.
"And the Americans, they are so friendly!" he concluded.
"Before the game started, they all stood up and looked at
me and sang, .... 'Jose, can you see?'"



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